YMCA

I recently joined the Y and it's sort of changing my life. Perhaps joining was a result of something else that was telling me that I needed to change my life, but it's the most concrete representation of life changing.

For the past 5 weeks I have come home from work every possible night of the week, eaten dinner, changed Lily, dropped her in the competent hands of their child care service that comes with a membership and participated in some type or another classroom fitness thing. As active as I used to be as a "young" person, I've never had to resort to classroom fitness training. In fact, I looked down my nose at such an organized misrepresentation of actual fresh air activity. But of course I would. I was young. And poor. Everything I did was physical. I waited tables or rode my bike to school or worked at the fucking hub throwing boxes. Acting like I wasn't a girl so the boys wouldn't make fun of me. Stupid, stubborn girls.

Anyway, my Y-cycle instructor last night made a statement in reference to two of our younger cyclists about how she herself didn't start participating in classes until at least her late twenties, but she was certainly in her thirties before she started taking them seriously. What is it about age that makes us want to join a class?

I'll tell you what because I'm experiencing it now and just verbalized it to my husband it couldn't have been more than a month ago. I spend a good majority of time at work with a bunch of assholes I don't care anything about and would rather roll around in cat shit than spend an extra social second with them. But I spend so much time with them that I've run all of my former friends off (that's what I tell myself anyway. the truth might be a little less active on my part) and the only people left are my family. Other than my immediate family (husband, baby) I don't particularly want to spend a hell of a lot of time with my family either. So I've been searching. I even went to church not that long ago and almost more to meet like minded people than to get anything churchy out of the event. It was a universalist church, so don't get me wrong, I'm not into find someone who shares my faith in jesus our lord and savior, but I'm looking for people like me. Should it really be that hard to find? Am I such a freak that the only person who actually wants to spend time with me and who I want to spend time with is my husband? Personally, I don't think so. In fact, I know that's not the case. The reason I spend so much time online is because the people I wish I was surrounded by are online.

Out there.

Before I start sounding too hokey, I'll get back to my point. One of the reasons I joined the gym was to find like minded individuals to spend at least the little bit of time left in my day with. And it gives D a break and it gives L the opportunity to experience other people than us. And it's served that purpose. I fucking love it. I love everything about it. I love going to classes, I love the yoga classes especially. But I even like the cycle classes because they kick my ass a little bit less every time I go.

I haven't lost any weight yet but I swear I notice a difference in my clothes and D says he can tell a difference in my muscle tone. I can't tell if he's just trying to be encouraging and to tell you the truth, I really don't care because I feel good as shit, inside and out.